Question from a reader:

Can you help me understand the parable of the wedding feast in Matthew 22:1-14? The last verse is confusing, “For many are called, but a few are chosen.” My family knows of someone who follows the belief that God only selects who can go to heaven and he uses this parable as his proof. He also has used Romans 8:29-30. He believes just because you believe in Jesus and accepted Him as your Lord and Savior it does not guarantee that you will go to Heaven. You must be selected/chosen by God in order to get to Heaven. I believe he is reading these passages wrong but can't prove it.

Answer from Doreen Button, EPM staff:

I’m one of Randy’s team members, and I’d like to sift through some of the tricky bits of these passages with you. This is one of those topics that we have to hold loosely in both hands because it involves paradox. In God’s mind, two things can be true at once even though to us they appear to be at odds. Scripture puts several such concepts before us. Our Western minds have trouble with ideas we can’t wrap up with a neat bow, whereas Jesus’ audience—at least His Jewish counterparts—were comfortable in their discomfort. It makes for some fun conversations as long as everyone remembers we’re not omniscient and remains civil while looking to the whole of Scripture.

I’ve come to read that line “many are called, but few are chosen” to refer to all the countless times God calls all of us. But only a few are specifically called out, or “chosen” for special purposes. Examples would be Noah, Abraham, Joseph, Moses and David.

Based on what you’ve told me about your friend’s beliefs, I think there are two doctrinal points in play. The first is what we call the doctrine of election, and the second is what we call the doctrine of eternal security.

And since, as my pastors like to say, context is king, let’s look at where this parable sits within Matthew. First of all, Jesus is speaking to Israel’s religious elite. These are men who know Scripture inside and out and yet, with few exceptions, reject Jesus, the One whose arrival they’ve supposedly been waiting for all their lives.

Second, the parable of the wedding feast is sandwiched among several other “kingdom” parables—the parable of the two sons, the evil farmers, and Jesus’ teaching about giving to Caesar and to God what belongs to each. The unmistakable message is that those who reject Christ will never be part of His kingdom regardless of their social or religious status. God offers us numerous, but not endless, chances throughout our lives to choose Him. Those who reject Him get what they want—eternal separation from Him. And those who listen (in biblical terms this means not just to hear, but to act upon what we hear) will get what they want—eternal life with Him!

He wants us. He calls to us. And if we “render to Him” our allegiance, heart, and obedience, He offers us abundant life in return (John 10:10), often depicted as a feast.

Regarding Romans 8:29-30, again, let’s take a look at context. That entire chapter of Romans focuses on how loved we are by God and what He’s done to bring us close to Him:

• “Therefore, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (v.1)
• “For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.” (v.14)
• “The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.” (v.16)
• “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble, or hardship, or persecution…?” (v.35)

And just before vv.29-30 comes the very well known “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Is there any basis in Scripture for believing that those who are God’s children will be abandoned by Him on the final day and that only a few will be selected out of that group for special treatment? Romans 8 ends with the answer: “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (vv.37-39).

Whether we’re chosen, or the ones who’ve chosen—once we belong to Jesus as His children, our position in Him is secure.

Randy wrote hand in Hand to help us work through the tension of the larger picture that your question revolves around: Which statement is true, God is Sovereign or man has freedom to choose meaningfully? The answer is both.

In this article, Guy Waters from Gospel Coalition writes:

First, it is not a slight thing to refuse the summons of God through his messengers. God will hold those who refuse that summons responsible on Judgment Day. Second, Jesus wants us to realize there is a more subtle way to refuse the summons. One may pay lip service to the external call but never truly embrace Jesus as offered in that call. Even this refusal subjects us to God’s just judgment.

The bad news is we have no power in ourselves to change our rebellious hearts. The good news is God is pleased to change rebellious hearts by the invincible power of his Spirit.

If we have responded to the external call in repentance and faith, it is only because God has first been at work in us to turn us to himself in Christ. Salvation is truly by grace alone. This truth is unsettling, but Jesus unsettles us for a reason. He wants us to find salvation and life in him alone, by grace alone. And only in Christ may we find an everlasting, unshakeable foundation.

It’s tough to reconcile the ideas of God adopting some and not others with verses like John 3:16 “…whosoever believes in Him will not perish…” But Jesus never promised us easy.

Here’s something Randy wrote in his book Happiness that I think gets to the root of what’s really important about the feast parables. It makes me happy, when I think about the joy in store for those of us who choose and are chosen:

WISE HAPPINESS-SEEKERS ACCEPT GOD’S OFFER OF ETERNAL, UNENDING HAPPINESS.

Jesus tells two stories about great parties thrown by God: the wedding feast (see Matthew 22:1-14) and the great banquet (see Luke 14:15-24). In both celebrations, the hosts (who represent God) invite guests to join in.

People in that culture certainly knew how to put on parties, and nothing was more festive and fun than a wedding feast—lots of free food, drinks, music, and laughter.

In the second story, when a good, happy king with vast wealth and unlimited resources threw a party—well, nobody in his or her right mind would decline! If you’re too busy for a great wedding feast and a banquet put on by the king, you’re too busy.

Yet the people the king invited made all kinds of excuses for not coming. They said no to the party, choosing instead to go to work, take a trip, inspect livestock, or stay home. They said no to happiness. When those who were invited refused to come, the king sent invitations to anyone his servants could find. So the wedding hall was filled with grateful people.

These parables exemplify God’s sincere invitation to happiness and our tendency to turn down his invitation to pursue things we believe will make us happier.

We couldn’t be more wrong. Refusing the King’s invitation to endless celebration in his presence is refusing happiness itself.

The moral of the story? When God invites you to a party, say yes. You’ll be happy you did!