Question from a reader:

Our adult son came out as gay after having been married and having children. He and his partner chose to get “married,” and we did not attend the ceremony. He has since cut us off from him and our grandchildren. We have repeatedly told him we love him and want to have a relationship, but we are told that unless we embrace him as he is, there is no chance of a relationship. I know his next thing is going to be insisting we accept his partner as our son-in-law. What do we do?

Answered by Heidi McLaughlin

I am so sorry. That is such a difficult position to be in and I know you and your husband must feel such pain over the separation from your son and grandchildren. I think the best advice is to pray, pray, and pray some more. Are you familiar with Christopher Yuan? His story can be found here on our website. I highly recommend the book he wrote with his mother, Out of a Far Country. His mother was devastated to learn that he was gay and the story of how she diligently fasted and prayed for him is such a wonderful example.

Here are some more recommended reading and Christian influencers on LGBT issues that you can look into (most by same sex attracted writers):

• Rosaria Butterfield: The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert
• Rebecca McLaughlin : Does the Bible Affirm Same Sex Relationships?
• Jackie Hill Perry: Gay Girl, Good God I recommend listening to this one. She has a beautiful cadence and way of speaking that will draw you in.
• Rachel Gilson: Born Again This Way, and Parenting Without Panic in a LGBT Affirming World

I thought this paragraph from gotquestions.org was especially applicable to your situation:

If a child says, “I am homosexual. That’s the way it is, and I don’t care what God thinks,” then the parents are back at step one. This child needs a heart change, and only God can change the heart. Sin is ultimately a heart problem, and until God transforms the heart and the child is gripped by the grace of God, nothing else will matter. A parent’s convictions will not matter. The letter of the law will not matter. Love is key. Love is what drove the prodigal son back to the arms of his father (Luke 15:11–32), and it is, according to the apostle Paul, the greatest of all gifts (1 Corinthians 13:13).

You can see the full article here.

Rosaria Butterfield has some good thoughts on the road you are walking. She writes, “The difference between acceptance and approval is the line that a Christian who loves someone trapped by these lies must navigate. It’s a fine line.” She explains that “Acceptance means dealing protectively and gently with the person who is lost.” But it doesn’t mean to approve, which means you give the whole situation a blessing. (See this interview.)

I hope this information is helpful and an encouragement to you today, and I’m praying that you will be able to navigate this with wisdom, love, compassion, and truth.