Knowing God's voice, I think, comes mostly from abiding in Christ, as in John 15. Part of that, but not all of it, is His Word abiding in us.

You are right that it's possible to think too much of what people think and say. What's really important is God's evaluation of our life.

I say this because it is possible to run a church and all of its activity without the Holy Spirit.

Truth without grace is unbending, like the law of gravity. Gravity doesn’t take into consideration the fact that the individual in the car is young, kind, tired or didn’t mean to get too close to the edge of the cliff. When the car plunges off the precipice, gravity shows no sympathy. Truth tells us we’re sick. Only grace can cure us.

For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves, God has a positive answer for them.

PROVIDENCE: God’s faithful and effective care and guidance of everything which He has made toward the end which He has chosen.

Humans value their ability to choose. There is a powerful illusion that we are capable of clearly discerning all things; that we are the final authority in our life. 

Jesus said in John 10: "I and the Father are One." Jesus is God and the Holy Spirit is God; the Son is God and the Father is God.

We’re not saved by good works, but God has prepared for us a lifetime of good works (Eph. 2:8-10), which are our gifts to Him.