This is a year of “firsts,” that is, the first of many things without Nanci by my side. These weeks have included three of the very hardest firsts, followed quickly by Christmas and New Year’s.

A few weeks ago I spoke at the services of my home church, Good Shepherd Community Church. The subject was what God has been teaching me about loss and grief since Nanci went to be with Jesus March 28. One of the most precious things about that weekend at my church was that I was able to share many profound insights from Nanci’s journals.

This week Nanci’s sister Donna initiated a conversation between my daughters Karina and Angela and me about the first weekend of NFL football. She rightly discerned how big last weekend would’ve been in Nanci’s life and how challenging it would be for our family. It was a tough weekend, tougher than I anticipated.

Jesus is Nanci’s best friend and my best friend. She is there with Him, and He is here with me. So Jesus is the bridge that keeps us connected until we live in that new world, with new bodies and minds, that He is preparing for us. The connection I feel to her through Him is profound.

Jeremiah 17:7-8 was Nanci’s go-to Scripture during her four years of cancer: “Blessed is the one who trusts in Yahweh, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” I’ve been reflecting on how powerfully I saw that passage displayed in her life. 

Over the years, the friendships Nanci and I enjoyed most, like with our friends Steve and Sue Keels, and Paul and Michele Norquist, are the ones where we laugh and have fun together but also talk about the things that really matter. Those kind of friendships are worth seeking out and preserving.

Eight years ago, Nanci and I did a question and answer time with the group of young moms at our church. One of the questions we answered was, “What do you like most about Jesus?” I remember this question and Nanci’s answer well.

Nanci’s life illustrates how an ordinary, behind the scenes, hating-to-be-upfront follower of Jesus can have an eternal impact by making deliberate, careful choices to study God, daily contemplate His faithfulness, and love and invest in others, even when it wasn’t easy or comfortable for her. 

One of the more unique things at Nanci’s service was that she had requested her family be given the opportunity to record some thoughts on video about her rather than having to stand up and speak live. She didn’t want them to be nervous or self-conscious on that weighty day.