Sufferers commonly ask, “Why me? Why not someone else? Why haven’t my friends lost a child or their husband? Why can they walk and ride bikes while I’m in a wheelchair? Why have you treated me differently, God?”  

Following is a modified version of my letter to someone who was experiencing intense physical pain and contemplated suicide. I share it because, though we are a small ministry without the capacity to give ongoing counsel, no doubt others may find themselves tempted to end their life and need to find hope in Jesus, or know someone who faces a similar struggle.

God refines us in our suffering and graciously explains why: “See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction. For my own sake, for my own sake, I do this” (Isaiah 48:10). For emphasis, God repeats the reason.

Before my mother would make a cake, she used to lay the ingredients on the kitchen counter. One day I tasted the individual ingredients for a chocolate cake. Judging by the taste of each component, I never would have believed cake could taste so good! In a similar way, the individual ingredients of trials and apparent tragedies taste bitter to us.

There’s a common saying: “God won’t give you more than you can handle” or “…more than you can bear.” Certainly, God gives us things which we can’t handle by ourselves. But He also promises that He is sufficient and able to sustain and strengthen us.

How we think about suffering will radically affect how we see God and the world around us. If you believe God should always bless you and your loved ones with material abundance and good health, you are setting yourself up to lose your faith. 

Though we don’t know exactly when, we do know for sure that either by our deaths or by Christ’s return, our suffering will end. From before the beginning, God drew the line in eternity’s sand to say for His children, “This much and no more, then endless joy.”

“In all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). Faith is like a forward memory, allowing us to believe as if what is promised has already happened. One day we will see how Romans 8:28 was true all along, even in those moments we most doubted it.

Here’s another precious insight from Nanci’s journal. One of the verses she shares, Jeremiah 17:8—the image of us being a tree with roots deeply planted in Jesus—is a favorite of ours.