Resources by Topic: Suffering and Evil

Please remember that it takes time to reach that place of perspective. Be patient with yourself during this process. It can take three or more years just to get past the fog and confusion of a major loss.

Joni Eareckson Tada says, “Suffering is meant to press us up against Jesus. It’s not so much about us...it’s about how I can hear His heartbeat and identify with Him in His sufferings.” And, “My paralysis is about knowing Jesus better.”

I’m so sorry to hear about your best friend. You are in a vulnerable space as you grieve and process this loss. There’s a quote attributed to Elisabeth Elliot that says, “Don’t dig up in doubt what you planted in faith.”

I can’t imagine the depth of grief you’re experiencing. It must seem as though life has come to a standstill at times, but everyone around you just keeps on living. Grieving is such a long, difficult, and sometimes lonely process.

In March, my beloved wife, Nanci, lost her four-year battle with colon cancer. All 54 years I’ve known her, Nanci loved Jesus. But from a front-row seat, I watched a wonderful—and supernatural—change in those last four years.

Certainly God sometimes graciously answers our prayers to relieve our suffering. This too testifies to His greatness, and we should praise Him for answering. But when He answers no, we should recognize that He desires to demonstrate His greater glory. May we then bend our knees and trust His sovereign grace.

I honestly don’t see any way God could have made us anything other than automatons unless He gave us the freedom to choose something other than Him. He loves us and wants us to love Him. Forced or legislated love isn’t love.

A few weeks ago I spoke at the services of my home church, Good Shepherd Community Church. The subject was what God has been teaching me about loss and grief since Nanci went to be with Jesus March 28. One of the most precious things about that weekend at my church was that I was able to share many profound insights from Nanci’s journals.

In order to understand God’s love in our current culture, it’s necessary to distinguish what love doesn’t mean and to see it in relationship to God’s other attributes. Yes, God is love, but it is not His only attribute, nor is it always His defining attribute. 

Isn’t it likely that a kind, all-powerful, and very compassionate God routinely prevents terrible tragedies in ways that we do not see and therefore do not credit as miracles? Perhaps one day we’ll hear those stories and marvel at how often God intervened when we imagined Him uninvolved in our world.

Your writing did not give me a clear picture of where you stand with Jesus. I understand that you believe in God. Have you surrendered your body and soul to Jesus and trusted in His once-for-all blood sacrifice on your behalf?

Here’s another precious insight from Nanci’s journal. One of the verses she shares, Jeremiah 17:8—the image of us being a tree with roots deeply planted in Jesus—is a favorite of ours.

God doesn’t only promise to replace our grief with joy, but to turn it into joy. Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy.”

I’ve mentioned that Nanci’s journal she kept over the last four years of her cancer contains many Charles Haddon Spurgeon quotes. A few months ago she wrote down some profound sentences from this sermon by Spurgeon, titled “Safe Shelter.” It seemed right to share more of it with you.